Skip to main content

Sexism, Abortion, and the erasure of the male role

The abortion debate has been irritating me lately. I am often reminded of how abortion is the Christian equivalent of murder. And all these arguments are tacitly about females. Females getting abortions, females murdering children, females taking the morning after pill etc. But what of the role of the male? Do we just deny the immature rebuttle to wear a condom? Are we forgetting the often male induced lust for sex? Are we forgetting the high school pressure and coercion of males? Because all of a sudden, when the women is faced with pregnancy often in part caused by caving from male pressure, all of a sudden she is a virgin mary, and she is the murderer, she is the guilty one, she is the one who must bear the child and the consequences too. And we forget the boyfriend that left when she was in her second trimester and told her he would always be there. We forget the false promises. We have trained women so well to be submissive. To give in to men's desires. To deny sex tacitly, and if that doesn't work to cave, for it is still taboo to explicitly say no in a relationship. It is the women's duties. When it comes to abortion, we like to believe we have raised our women to be assertive and confident, able to defy men if need be to be moral and righteous. But the reality is, we have trained women to heed the wishes of men, and often the wishes of men get women in the situations in which they have to choose to be a murderer, or go through with a pregnancy they weren't intending, perhaps without a family. It's fine to have opinions on abortion, but it's not okay to forget the male role in it all. My sister's father refused to acknowledge my sister until she was nearly 5 years old. HE was the one that didn't want to wear a condom, that promised to pull out. He was the one that got my mother pregnant. I remember my sister waiting tirelessly by the phone, waiting for her "daddy" to call her. He never did. I remember when he first started seeing her, he would leave her waiting for hours without a phone call. Her bags would be packed on her bed. She started her waiting with such joy, a face of acceptance, with little lines creased at her eyes and mouth, unable to contain the joy that her father wanted her and loved her. I would watch as her little face saddened. As the little lines and wrinkles in her cheeks turned downward. As her eyes grew heavy with abandonment. I had to watch after 3 hours being late, my sister solemnly putting her things away, ignored, abandoned. No call. No dad. Nothing. To this day I see the toll her father's absence has taken on her. She is fiercely independent, not by choice, but by necessity. Having to be dependent makes her terrified. She started having seizures and couldn't drive, and I tell you, it scared her to death. And I know why. It scared her to death because she has learned all her life, that when she needs someone, they won't be there for her, because she didn't matter. She didn't matter to her father. You know how much that hurts? And now, her father has the nerve to tell a family member of his that she must keep her baby, and that the baby must stay in the family. He has the nerve to think he is righteous enough to tell a woman what to do with her life, her body and her baby. I tell you I've never wanted to slap someone in the face so badly.


Popular posts from this blog

An Argument Against Sociology Being a Bullshit Study

So, as a Sociology major I have (perhaps inevitably) come across people who have voiced their opinions on why sociology is a crock, convoluted, an unacceptable method for conducting science, and not a valid (impractical) study. I hope to address these issues and give a thorough defense of my field, for (obviously) if I had no defense, I should not be a sociology major. I do completely welcome criticism and comments to what I write, and in fact I would love some. I thoroughly believe that the best analysis is derived from discussion and (logical) argumentation. I have put in  bold  the main points since I realize many of you probably do not want to read my god-knows-how-long argument.  SO on with it. I guess I will address the different arguments I have come across one by one Sociology is not credible because it borrows from so many other fields .  Indeed, Sociology is extremely interdisciplinary, but I think the complexity is what makes it so grand. We could limit Sociology b

My problems with the strong is the new skinny campaign

When the 'strong is the new skinny' campaign first started, I was pretty excited about it. The first article I saw was a woman who used to be what she considered anorexic. She said she was weak, and barely ate. She fell in love with weight lifting, and said it gave her confidence, strength and courage. She explained how before lifting she was taught to deprive herself, to lack confidence in her body, and be weak. After lifting she felt proud of her new strength, could eat (and was supposed to eat) more, and felt a sense of progress towards muscle, versus progress towards being smaller. She posted new photos of herself showing she didn't look much different (she didn't 'get huge'). Her photos though were fairly normal looking. She probably had a healthy 10-20% body fat, and you could tell she had some solid muscle. Her muscle, however, wasn't rippling out of her skin, and it isn't supposed to be. There are two main types of weight training I want to tal

A 15 minute exercise for anxiety or depression.

As your hands fumble across countless sites of self-help and coping, this post might have come up. I know the feeling. The feeling of your head being a electric sarcophagus. Of so many negative thoughts and feelings ripping through you like a tornado. You can't concentrate. You can't eat. Living is surviving. First, I want you to know that it gets better. It always gets better. Nothing can stay the same. Next I want you to know that everything takes time, but this method will change your relationship with your feelings instantly. The problem with anxiety and depression is often the pink elephant syndrome. Right now I want you to NOT think about pink elephants . Don't do it. If you do something terrible will happen. What are you thinking about? Pink Elephants? Really? Stop doing it. Just stop. Jesus get a hold of yourself. It's an easy task, just stop thinking about pink elephants! Not very effective huh? But this is the tactic us people