Trying to explain why feeling vulnerable is so hard for me. Explaining when I have to stray from my fierce independence and be vulnerable, it's incredibly difficult for me. And when I'm vulnerable and someone doesn't want to be there for me. I crumble, all of the walls of my defenses I've used to deal with people in my life crumble before me. "It's just that, I already have this feeling that I'm a burden" At first just the tightening of the throat happened, and the quiver of tears, but it hit me so suddenly and unexpectedly. Sometimes the faintest words seem so insignificant in your head but when you say them the immensity of their meaning floods over you. I was embarrassed as my body started trembling and my stomach clenched with tears. "I'm sorry" I said as I shook my hands repeatedly and rapidly to try to relieve the intensity. I realized I kept shaking my hands this way, like someone drying their nails frantically, as if the moti